Happiness in Self Destruction

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

This room was empty

Holes in the walls, I'm fucking melting

Destined to fall, do you feel me?

It's pulling me further away

My family's breaking and I'm giving myself all the blame

[Verse 2]

How do you explain that you've been so low?

You'd steal just to keep your stomach full and your habits up

I've played that game, my time is done

Alone, afraid to move an inch on a binge

It's like they've left me here just to reflect on my sins

Overdosed, so fucking close

Sometimes it takes losing everything, the life I chose

[Hook]

Maybe, it's just me

And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself

Maybe, it's just me

And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself

[Verse 3]

Maybe it's just me and I can't see, I'm hurting everyone that found me

Every word that I said, all the shit that I fed into the brains of the hopeless

I will take you nowhere, I will teach you nothing

So please, just trust me

Open the door just to see

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

This room was empty

Holes in the walls, I'm fucking melting

Destined to fall, do you feel me?

It's pulling me further away

My family's breaking and I'm giving myself all the blame

[Hook: Landon Tewers]

Maybe, it's just me

And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself

Maybe, it's just me

And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself

Maybe, it's just me

And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself

(And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself)

[Outro: Landon Tewers]

I'll fight it off, I'll push it out

I'll make a change, I'll make you proud

(And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself)

I'll fight it off, I'll push it out

I'll make a change, I'll make you proud

(And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself)

I'll fight it off, I'll push it out

I'll make a change, I'll make you proud

(And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself)

I'll fight it off, I'll push it out

I'll make a change, I'll make you proud

(And I'll fight it off, I'll find myself)

[Verse 1: Landon Tewers]

The day you passed away

Something about this place changed

We were waiting for signals of love

But you were cold and I guess you'd had enough

[Chorus]

Spoke my name, I felt your pain

As your eyes cloud up, and then close shut

I saw your soul leave this room like it was sick of you

You had this look on your face like you were thinking

Just take me away, I'll never change

(I'll never change)

Take me away, I will never change

[Verse 2]

My father was broken and low

And I saw a side that he'd never shown

So many secrets he'd kept

Some things he was forced to accept

[Chorus]

Spoke my name, I felt your pain

As your eyes cloud up, and then close shut

I saw your soul leave this room like it was sick of you

You had this look on your face like you were thinking

Just take me away, I'll never change

Take me away, I will never change

[Verse 3]

Crossed his heart and hoped to die

I know you fought so hard

And held your pride

I wish you knew my thoughts

And heard my voice

'Cause I was tied in knots

But stood with poise

[Chorus]

And when you spoke my name

I felt your pain as your eyes cloud up then closed shut

I saw your soul leave this room like it was sick of you

You had this look on your face like you were thinking

Just take me away, I'll never change

Take me away, I will never change

[Verse 1: Landon Tewers]

I thought I was a god, thought I'd never die

Snort a bump and lose a night faking friends and losing my sanity

Stuck my fingers down her throat and held her hair back

Now I'm just another fuck you killed a twelve pack with

We're gods, we're kings, we're substance fiends

Who really cares who it hurts when we fill our needs

We're gods, we're kings and I'm lifeless

Guess that's what I get for living with my vices

You say you think you can help

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

So just break me

Make me the way you want me

Break me

Until I owe you nothing

[Verse 2: Landon Tewers]

Don't get too close, I've been known to manipulate

I've got this drip in my throat that would devastate

God I'm afraid that my friends might hate me

Getting clean's like an insult lately

We'd stop but I've got this craving

I'm stuck in here

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

So just break me

Make me the way you want me

Break me

Until I owe you nothing

[Verse 3: Landon Tewers]

Bet it makes you sick to see me faded out

Sleeping in my own puke, aren't you proud?

You're all better off when I'm not around

I promise you

Can't eat, can't sleep, can't fuck, can't dream

It's a powdered trap and I can't get free

Maybe I'm just like them

And I'm just a fiend and I can't get clean

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

Break me

Make me the way you want me

Break me

Until I owe you nothing

[Verse 4: Landon Tewers]

Get clean you filth

It's like a ringing in my ears

They beg and they plead

Get clean, get clean, get clean, you fiend, you fiend

Get clean, get clean, get clean, you fiend, you fiend

I thought I was a god, thought I'd never die

Snort a bump and lose a night faking friends and losing my sanity

Stuck my fingers down her throat and held her hair back

Now I'm just another fuck you killed a twelve pack with

We're gods, we're kings, we're substance fiends

Who really cares who it hurts when we fill our needs

We're gods, we're kings and I'm lifeless

Guess that's what I get for living with my vices

You say you think you can help

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

So just break me

Make me the way you want me

Break me

Until I owe you nothing

[Intro: Landon Tewers]

Trapped in my old ways

Can't seem to break free from anything

'Cause this is all that I've ever known

And I'm afraid it won't let me go

[Verse 1]

Drugged you down

Took you away from everyone that ever loved you

Fooled the crowd

Made 'em believe that I was real

But you always knew

I know I'm late

But I hope you know I'd kill to keep you safe

If you love me, then I beg that you just leave; forget my name

[Chorus]

Trapped in my old ways

Can't seem to break free from anything

'Cause this is all that I've ever known

And I'm afraid it won't let me go

(Let me go)

I'm afraid, I'm afraid it won't let me go

(Let me go)

I'm afraid, I'm afraid it won't let me go

[Verse 2]

All the pills, all the money, all the pain

Living consequences, breathing just to take the blame

I was wrong, I was wrong, I can see so clearly

Made myself look like a fool and now you only fear me

Trying to change

God only knows I've been living in agony

I pushed you all away

[Chorus]

Trapped in my old ways

Can't seem to break free from anything

'Cause this is all that I've ever known

And I'm afraid it won't let me go

(Let me go)

I'm afraid, I'm afraid it won't let me go

(Let me go)

I'm afraid, I'm afraid it won't let me go

Just let me go

[Bridge]

Just let me go, just let me go, just let me go, just let me go

Itching, scratching

My blood's so thin

The fucking ceiling spins

It's clouding every thought and stripping everything away from me

Crawling desperately

It's got me trapped, and living in agony

[Chorus]

Trapped in my old ways

Can't seem to break free from anything

'Cause this is all that I've ever known

And I'm afraid it won't let me go

(Let me go)

I'm afraid, I'm afraid it won't let me go

(Let me go)

I'm afraid, I'm afraid it won't let me go

(Let me go

Let me go)

[Verse 1: Landon Tewers]

They ask me why I hardly speak these days

Sometimes it’s better not to say a word and hide my face

It’s hard to feel love, it’s hard to find peace

There was a time I thought these things but that’s the old me

What if I'm, what if I’m made for

Something else, something some died for

It's not enough, it never seems to be enough

I’ve got a vision and its something you know nothing of

It’s all Déjà vu

And it will never feel real to you

I’ve crossed the line and there’s no going back this time

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

How could this happen to me

I feel that I missed my time (I feel that I missed my time)

Struggle and scratch 'til we bleed

I swear that I’ll be just fine (I swear that I’ll be just fine)

[Verse 2: Landon Tewers]

They see me, they hear me

They try to twist around the words I spoke clearly

I'm sad to see that honesty’s is no longer what they’re wanting from me

They’re seeking lines about false hope

About a world that is fixable

They’re craving lies but I’m too cynical

And to this world you are invisible

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

How could this happen to me

I feel that I missed my time (I feel that I missed my time)

Struggle and scratch 'til we bleed

I swear that I’ll be just fine (I swear that I’ll be just fine)

[Bridge: Landon Tewers]

I’m slaving and dreaming

I’m constantly dreaming

Slapped in my face, drained all my veins

Been searching for someone to care

(been searching for someone to care)

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

How could this happen to me

I feel that I missed my time (I feel that I missed my time)

Struggle and scratch 'til we bleed

I swear that I’ll be just fine (I swear that I’ll be just fine)

[Chorus: Landon Tewers]

How could this happen to me

I feel that I missed my time (I feel that I missed my time)

Struggle and scratch 'til we bleed

I swear that I’ll be just fine (I swear that I’ll be just fine)

[Verse 1]

Thirteen years old, addicted to cigarettes

And both his parents were scared to death when he walked through the door

Baptized at twelve, laughed it off

And swore he pissed in the water that had cleansed his soul

We'd been breaking into cars, taking stereos

And there he goes, down the alleyway, shit's not the same

I miss the days when violence and carelessness were no expense but shit's not the same

[Chorus]

Your heart may beat but you're not alive

And it makes me sick to see you all strung out

Desperate you take what you've been deprived

Happiness in self destruction

Your heart may beat but you're not alive

And it makes me sick to see you all strung out

Desperate you take what you've been deprived

Happiness in self destruction

[Verse 2]

And do you remember the time you took 100 bucks from your momma's purse and we were so excited

But you came and got your older brother to buy us some beer and it was so clear

I fucking hate myself for letting you get hooked on all the shit that you were on

I promise you next time I'll be strong

I cherish you, I remember every time you bailed me out

And it's safe to say I won't be bailing now

[Chorus]

Your heart may beat but you're not alive

And it makes me sick to see you all strung out

Desperate you take what you've been deprived

Happiness in self destruction

Your heart may beat but you're not alive

And it makes me sick to see you all strung out

Desperate you take what you've been deprived

Happiness in self destruction

[Bridge]

Woah, woah

(Happiness in self destruction)

Woah, woah

(Happiness in self destruction)

Woah, woah

Your heart may beat but you're not alive

And it makes me sick to see you all strung out

Desperate you take what you've been deprived

Happiness in self destruction

[Chorus]

Your heart may beat but you're not alive

And it makes me sick to see you all strung out

Desperate you take what you've been deprived

Happiness in self destruction

Your heart may beat but you're not alive

And it makes me sick to see you all strung out

Desperate you take what you've been deprived

Happiness in self destruction

[Outro]

So I just want to let you know I understand why you want to part ways, money means a lot to you and I don't write the words you want me to say. You may have a nice house and friends who will hang out with you cause they know you will buy them rounds but just remember that your bank account won't come with you when you're put down in the ground. You won't shut me up I have a vision and a voice, a story to tell and it will be told you have no choice. So you can keep our 12% royalty cheques cause I doubt I see them anyway. I'll keep dressing and writing and saying whatever the fuck I want to say. You manipulate the vulnerable and use them to your advantage and I refuse to associate myself with a crook but I'll try to manage my anger and harsh thoughts 'cause they'll get me sidetracked. I just hope that this gives the next group of kids with a dream a little heads up before sign their souls away in a contract