The Nigga in Me Is Me

2 Contributors22 LyricsEmboldened and esteemed by excitement and encouragement

The performance of pain predominates my life's prospects

Trapped in tragedy, we tragic, I’m terrified

New year, new me, just as empowered as a nigga is powerless

Shoutout to my stolen people, my single tears, my entire seas

Shoutout sweeping separation from the so-called “punk scene”

Benefits gigs for presidential bids are clearly only strange to me

Stranger still, my written word is real only when I'm blacked out for white to see

The torture told is spun from the gold that all of my stabwounds secrete

Like my wasteful wail of “What I am isn't who I am” at every person that I meet

The post-modern peopleplease

Slamdances sanctimoniously

Against what it thinks it thinks

Its only common enemy

Aside from all the ones it won’t allow itself to see

In this environment, affectuating emotional exchanges

Intended to affirm are instead exploitative exercises

In ignoring everyone, the imposed invisibility

Is as equally exhausting as the enthusiasm

The hate begets hate, the love, mistrust

Living numb and loving it in a niche nonplussed!

Ah, ah, ah, ah

Now I'm a jerk and everybody loves me

Now I'm a jerk and everybody loves me

Now I'm a jerk and everybody loves me

Now I'm a jerk, now I'm a jerk

But you dicks couldn't give two shits

Till you could feel like clenching your fists while they stayed in your pockets

But you dicks couldn't give two shits

Till you could feel like clenching your fists while they stayed in your pockets

But you dicks couldn’t give two shits

Till you could feel like clenching your fists while they stayed in your pockets

2 Contributors21 LyricsIf you see something, say something

If you say something, do something

If you do something, follow through

Follow through, follow through, whomst

Whomst the fuck is arrogant enough to forsake admiration of what they know now to disavow?

Do you remember it as what you once avoided fucking thinking about? But you're ready now

To put your piecemeal into somebody else’s mouth?

Feels great to finally have some grievances to take to the streets to shout!

But the name of who murdered Korryn Gaines still hasn’t seemed to make it out

Each march and peaceful protest puts the hype in hypothetical

Make dissent more tangible, put the black back in black bloc

The writing on the wall has never been more legible

2 Contributors24 LyricsI'm beyond bars, or at least outside, under the eye of the overseer

I'm piped up like the club drugs consumed by all my peers

I'm out here living young and unrepentant

A perpetual piece of every problem that I ain't wearing like a pendant

But if I'm moving loud to pay my student loans

I'm still a dependent, so

Am I poppin'?

Am I really even poppin'?

Re-up, can't get fucked up enough

Why pay to pipe the drug and not get paid to play the plug?

Success and stomach acid sting a nigga tongue the same

You sell 4oz in 1 day, you can tell me that crime don't pay

Don't tell me you'íll change someday

And, in the meantime, act the same way

Don't fix your mouth to lie to my face

To try to force me out of feeling played

Actions get explained away

So I'm gonna shut the fuck up, just in case

There's a benefit gig for nobody

Raising residue of middle class money

Could we send those stacks back to the past in neat packs

And put them underneath the feet of everybody lynched so they can catch their breath at last?

They swing in my mind

Singing out across time

Sounding off like windchimes

Our bloodlines hung from pines

Burning brighter than the fires

Behind the bluest eye

Burning brighter than the fires

Behind the bluest eye

They swing in my mind

Singing out across time

Sounding off like windchimes

Our bloodlines hung from pines

Burning brighter than the fires

Behind the bluest eye

Burning brighter than the fires

Behind the bluest eye

2 Contributors23 LyricsEmotional assimilation

Is trauma, trauma, trauma

Is trauma, trauma, trauma

Is trauma's worn, scar-tissued skin

Seared by state-sanctioned aspirations

Underneath my will to live clings tight my will to die

The silent secret of my strength is all the shame I’ve centralized

And all the people i see whose suffering's steeped in

Dreams of nothing when their eyes close to sleep

Don't see the void that they meet as so much more comforting

I dream of nothing when I close my eyes to sleep

Each day awake just lies in wait to shape, in vain, clean breaks away from daily

Debasement, engage the escapist

Unendingly inaccessible until ingratiated

I dream of nothing but ending my self-defeat

Apparently, my revealings of my injuries are just my

Manipulative tendency!

And these techniques spoken to me about responsibility and integrity are suffocating

Placating sayings placed to efface me

But I was taken, I was taken, I was, I was

I was taken through the threshold by the tension I espoused

Fitted for full integration into a burning house

I was taken through the threshold by the tension I espoused

Fitted for full integration into a burning house

2 Contributors27 LyricsSpite is its own overcommitment

And a self-preservation instinct

Self-love is enough even if it’s only saying to yrself

"I’m surviving" while passively practicing silence

Tell everyone that I’m thriving

As though I share ya’ll disbelief

At the doublespeak dressed as apologies

Those closest to me cut me off when I speak

Macroaggressive and projecting, thus not worth mentioning

Backward I move too, but I trip over the casualties

Life lost is no cost for a lapse in humanity

Congratulate me, sight unseen

Congratulate me, a nigga finally free

You literally put your hands on me

And all you’ll ever get is leave

Leave

Leave

Leave, leave, leave, leave, leave

Take leave of the speech of the truth you hate and shout it down as fake

Lie in wait, lie and wait, lie awake each night

Or D: All of the above

Yo, I love to lie and I live to love

On god, I will not participate

Lemme rephrase

No more faith in the process, potential as progress

Or intangible sweet nothings prepackaged as promises

All them lil vacations in the crossfire between you and your future selves

Is of a trajectory of dishonesty that leaves transgressions propelled

You see the tragedy as yours to manage

A wound if you grip tight enough you think you can bandage

I’ll only accept apologies in cash or true change

But I will reclaim my time all the same

Dolo, left to wonder, wandering, questioning what it is to mitigate

My guilt in not standing up and saying what I just won’t tolerate

You literally put your hands on me, your anger was never surprising

You literally put your hands on me

2 Contributors30 LyricsMy wall

My wall is a garden of dark marks

Interwoven strokes rapturously posted up

Not ruins, but still sutured to a corrupt culture awaiting chances at its deconstruction

My whole family stillborn in the cut

Living, working, dying as your laborers yet labeled "non-essential" by you fucks

Your wall's imported

Pretty sure you used the word "glorious"

But you can’t both use and ignore us

Or fuck and pretend to adore us

What type of love is only true in its desire to stay hateful?

What type of world did you think you birthed where you thought I would be grateful?

You really thought I would be grateful?

You thought!

You thought!

You thought!

You thought!

I overanalyzed the size of the affect

Of life as a mark and an object of disrespect

Remade in H.I.S. image, redacted, refitted for symmetry

But over the border my future’s free of that conspiracy

Wishing to keep your threats well-kept as your weaponized debt is your wall, my nigga

My wall’s the earth and more than the dirt you tried to sweep up under the rug, my nigga

You gentrified a whole continent with a whip on some hand-over-fist shit, nigga

Tell me, am I still the embodiment of the evil that your daddy did live, nigga?

Your wall is imported

I’m pretty sure you used the word "glorious"

But you can’t both use and ignore us

Or fuck and pretend to adore us

What love is only true in its desire to stay hateful?

What type of world did you think you birthed where you thought I’d be grateful?

You really thought I’d be grateful?

You thought, you thought!

You cannot have my joy!

You thought, you thought!